let's start with a metaphor, shall we?: 14 to 40: VANITY CASE

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March 31, 2010

14 to 40: VANITY CASE

It's a curse. A deadly sin. And in my case I fear its hereditary.
My people are vain. At least on Mother's side.

The upside to this is that we hold up pretty well... out of sheer will power. The down side of course is that we're never really satisfied with the way we look. Ask any one of us and we could be 10lbs thinner, have a pointier nose, bigger boobs, or less junk in the trunk. I guess that makes us just like most Americans...

Ask me on a good day and I'll deny it, but I've got some self image issues. For starters I HATE my hair. The gene pool on either side was out to screw me, so I ended up having an "elective follicular procedure" 4 years ago. At first it was great, but a couple of years later when the money got tight, I gave up the Propecia prescription...and within a year lost all of the hair I had left before the transplant [the transplanted hair will never fall out]. Basically I look just like I did before the procedure... and in other words, it was a very expensive exercise in vanity. I sure could use that money now!

Would I have another one? In a nano-second.

Speaking of exercise, I haven't.
Weight has been an issue my whole life. When I lost 40 lbs on the South Beach diet 5 years ago, I realized that I had lost and gained back the same 40lbs 10 times...that's 400lbs! And a bit ridiculous. I mean really! I had managed to keep all but 10 of it off for the last 5 years then BOOM! 10lbs between October and Christmas...then BOOM another 10 between New Years and Easter. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but I believe there to be a direct correlation with how often I've lifted a fork to my mouth. Nothing fits, and all I can think of is how it's gotta be gone before The Santa Maria Reunion at the end of JUNE! Effective immediately it's back to moderation of my eating habits, and some form of exercise.

So NUMBER THREE on 16 To 40 is about separating the healthy vanity, [the one who makes me eat better and exercise so I look good] from the vanity that has insufferably unrealistic expectations of me. Hmmm. Maybe I should look into that schizophrenia thing too...